I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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