Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
