Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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