1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
