Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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