Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
