just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
