i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
