ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
