U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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