I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize