ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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