Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
