I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
