GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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