Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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