new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
