u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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