So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
