I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize