But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
