I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Less talking, more tequila
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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