I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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