the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
