i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
