Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
