I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So much rum. So many feels.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.