Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is