i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.