Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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