you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
