so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
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