Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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