I have demons in me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
