do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
