I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
