MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.