dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.