i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling