Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.