Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
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