they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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