Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
