I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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