I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize