wat bout pragnant strippers??
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
