I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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