I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
