Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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