Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
