it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we made out on top of his cat.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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