My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
