I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
false alarm, still single
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
