my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
