dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
