im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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