You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
