She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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