yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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