Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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