no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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