did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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