i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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