Is it normal to miss your booty call?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
