and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
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