I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
